


five things that never happened to Audrey Jenkins

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Radio Free Roscoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-03
Updated: 2005-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:40:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1627196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Audrey always gets what she wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five things that never happened to Audrey Jenkins

**Author's Note:**

> Written for packmentality

 

 

Title: Five things that never happened to Audrey Jenkins

Rating: NC-17

Fandom: RFR

Pairing: Audrey/Ed/Ted, Audrey/Ray, Audrey/River,   
Audrey/Parker, Audrey/Lily

Summary: Audrey always gets what she wants

*What the Stars Never Wrote*

He and Ed win the science fair- it was as inevitable as gravitational accretion, of course- but it doesn't change the fact that there was actually something resembling competition this year. Odder still is the fact that competition came in the form of none other than Audrey Jenkins... the same Audrey that's ignored and looked down on their scientific pursuits since the seventh grade.

It was a truly inspired project, Ted has to admit that. Her in depth look at the most likely star systems in the galaxy to contain life (intelligent or otherwise) was well researched, well thought out and extremely interesting. If Ted admits the truth, he's actually very relieved to have won.

His and Ed's study of Doppler's Shift was just as well researched and applied, but Audrey's project had that touch of amazement that he remembers coating his own early work. Audrey still has that fresh look at science and all its nuances that he and Ed just don't have anymore. It sucks people in. She was fascinated and awed by her subject and it made the judges feel awed in turn.

They managed to win, but only just barely; the closest the science fair has been in their grade in almost eight years. Audrey looked so angry (not red giant angry, but white dwarf pissed) when they announced her name along with second place. She accepted her award with dignity and then glared daggers at them when they won.

Ted's incredibly glad that he and Ed left right after the awards ceremony to get dinner. He's spending the night at Ed's house and Ed's parents are out of town, so they can stay out as late as they want. They spend dinner planning their project for next year, sharing spoilers for the upcoming Batman movie and discuss at length their feelings about the new BattleStar Galactica series, all the while subtly touching each other and looking at each other and just being a couple in *public* and it's the best thing ever.

They're locking up their bikes in Ed's garage when they hear a noise coming from the corner of the garage where their laboratory is located. Audrey's there, sitting on the counter with a huge smile and a laboratory flask full of what Ted only hopes is Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider.

"Ed, Ted! So good to see you. Please sit down," she says, indicating the battered futon in front of her. "We'll have a toast to your victory." She's pouring them drinks into small beakers; from the smell of it, it's not Martinelli's

"To Ed and Ted," she says, raising her beaker to salute them. "As I always say, `let the best man win.'" They join her, awkwardly sipping at their... champagne? But yes, it's fizzy and alcoholic and not all that bad and it beats asking what the hell she's doing there so the two of them just keep sipping.

She's just sitting there, perched on the corner, legs crossed and wearing that smart looking skirt suit she was wearing earlier. Her hair's down now though, and combined with the generous amount of lip gloss on her mouth and the suggestive way she's rubbing her own legs, Ted's figuring out just what Audrey wants. Ed must have too because he let's out a small yelping noise and spills some of the champagne. Award winning geniuses, Canada can do better right?

"Ed," Audrey suddenly says, hopping down from the counter and moving toward them on the futon, "you spilled." It's only an instant before she's leaning down, all pale, soft skin and flowery girl-smell and then her tongue is running over Ed's throat and up his jaw.

"There you go," she says pulling back to look at them, "better now?" There's something in her tone, more to the question than what was actually said. Ed's shooting glances at Ted and Ted's looking back and yeah, they've talked about doing something like this, but it was only ever in the `no-way-on-earth-will-this-happen-but-if-it-did' sort of way.

So Ted goes ahead and nods because this is probably the last opportunity they'll ever have with a girl. Gift horses and mouths and all that.

Ted's not sure he's ever felt more disconnected than he does while watching Ed kiss Audrey. His head tilted just right, his fingers in her hair and the flash of tongue between them as they move. Ted's pretty much ready to sit back and watch, take copious notes and ask Ed what it felt like afterwards when Audrey breaks away from Ed, turning and pressing her mouth against his.

She tastes like champagne and lip gloss and *Ed* and so he pulls her closer, almost into his lap and Ed's moving in next to them and his mouth has attached itself to Ted's neck. He's licking and biting and repeating it all on Audrey and then moving back to Ted.

It's intense as hell and then Audrey's pulling away slightly, pulling Ed's face up from her nape and against Ted's mouth and then they're kissing. It's familiar yet not, with Audrey sitting right there adding something to it, making it more erotic than it usually is. Ed's hands are everywhere, sliding up the back of his shirt and down into his jeans. He's rubbing the outline of Ted's cock through the soft denim of his jeans and Ted bucks up against him.

It all gets kind of hazy after that. He clearly remembers Audrey unzipping his jeans with her teeth and he's certain she was jacking him and Ed with the same hand at some point. None of that explains how he got from that to *here*, spread out on his stomach with Ed's fingers deep inside him and Audrey's thighs on either side of his head.

What Ed's doing is familiar; he always opens Ted up the same way. One finger dry, one finger wet, two fingers, twist, thrust, three fingers, scissor slightly and then torture Ted until he's begging for Ed to fuck him already. Not that he'll be able to this time. He's going to have his mouth full.

And it only takes a second of exploration (with his mouth, seeing as his hands are desperately needed to keep his balance) to realize just how different this is going to be from sucking cock. With Ed it's easy: a little sucking, some licking and he's done. What the hell is he supposed to do with all of this stuff down here?

Audrey, sensing his confusion (or just impatient to actually get hers) reaches down and spreads herself open, before grabbing him by the back of the head and pulling him down.

Wet, warm, soft and it doesn't taste bad at all. He thought it would; he's heard other boys tell tales. He focuses on the tiny nub at the top; he paid attention in health long enough during the female anatomy part to know where the clitoris is, Audrey lets out a breathy little moan and undulates beneath his mouth the first time his tongue flickers over that spot.

He keeps it up, moving his tongue and his head and occasionally dipping his tongue lower to thrust inside her. When Ed thrusts into him from behind he moans into Audrey and she writhes a little. Ed's hitting his prostate on every upstroke and it's pushing him into Audrey, forcing his tongue over her.

Maybe he isn't doing a good enough job, maybe Audrey's just impatient, but it isn't long before she grabs a hold of either side of his head and just... fucks herself with his tongue. It's hot, really hot, and this is the kinkiest thing he's ever done; way kinkier even than that time on Ed's birthday with Ted in Leia's slave girl outfit from Jedi. Ed's thrusting away behind him and Audrey's riding him up front and he thinks they might leave him behind. They're both so close and they're going to come and he's not and then Ed reaches around and starts to pull him off.

It's in time with Ed's thrusts and they're only slightly off of Audrey's rhythm but it doesn't matter. They come first, together and Audrey follows a few moments later. Ed's already pulled out and laying beside them and Audrey's pulled away and trying to fix her skirt and Ted's face *hurts* a lot and yeah, he's damn glad boys have pull out parts.

"You boys have a nice evening," Audrey calls out as she's leaving. They hear her fussing with her skirt but can't summon the energy to look over.

When Ed's parents get home they want to take the two of them out for dinner to celebrate the win. They show off their project and all the certificates they won but when it comes time to show off their medals they can only find one. Ted's sure they had both of them when they left the fair and at the restaurant. He clearly remembers helping Ed take his off when... when they were getting naked with Audrey. They don't find the medal and Ted doesn't think they ever will.

*Another Awful Truth*

She's sitting on his front step when he gets home; he doesn't look at her, just opens his door and doesn't close it behind him. He's still shaking with anger and he can't look at anything without seeing Travis' defiant face and he's really worried he won't be able to stop himself from hitting something.

He heads to the kitchen to get something to drink, something cold and calming. He needs to stop being angry before his parents get home. The note on the fridge lets him know he has a long time to do that. He opens the freezer to get ice, closes it and rests his head on the door. It's working, he can feel himself getting calmer; maybe in about a year or so he'll be able to talk to Audrey like a reasonable person.

She moves in behind him, reads the note from his mother over his shoulder, before taking the glass of ice out of his hand and filling it with water. She takes a sip and hands it back to him before hopping up onto the counter.

"Does she volunteer at your church often?" she asks, nodding her head towards the fridge and the note that's still hanging there. Her legs are crossed at the ankle, very proper and ladylike and totally drawing the eye to what look like really expensive knee high boots.

They're light brown and appear almost soft except for the wicked looking heels on them. Large and sharp looking and he kind of wishes he were a girl so he could wear shoes like that. Shoes like that would really come in handy on a day like this. Shoes like that would do plenty of damage when he kicked Travis with them in his stupid fucking face.

"Sometimes," he answers her. "Usually she's only there while we're at school." And he sounds almost civil, doesn't sound at all like he wants to kill everything within a two block radius, up to and including Audrey. She nods and stands up; she's moving out of the kitchen, into the rest of his house. He still has no clue what she's here for.

He follows her as she heads upstairs. She's opening doors as she walks by them: bathroom, Tim's room, linen closet. When they come to his room she goes inside. He follows, turning on the light, and she finally turns around to look at him.

"It looks exactly like anyone would expect," she says, coming closer. She flicks the light switch down and starts to strip out of her shirt. Once it's gone she's reaching behind her to unhook her bra and he's stunned, looking at the filmy, girly fabric in a pile on his floor like it could explain anything. She moves toward him and starts unbuckling his belt, unzipping his trousers and that wakes him up.

"What the hell?" he asks, moving back, and even with the lights off the sun outside his closed blinds is bright enough for him to see her roll her eyes.

"I'm surprised though," she goes on, standing in front of him wearing only her skirt and those boots. "I figured when you had Lily make you over you'd get rid of all this little kid stuff." And yeah, she's obviously baiting him. She saw the way his fists clenched when she mentioned Lily and this is just a ploy to get him to do what she wants.

He strips off his shirt and pulls off his jeans, staring at her the whole time and wondering what the hell this is all about. She leans forward then and presses their lips together. It isn't a kiss. Kisses are what he shared with Lily, with Ronnie, hell, with Robbie that one time when they were eight. This is like a battle, like a war with mouths as weapons. Her teeth clashing against his and her tongue just *possessing* his mouth.

The arms he brings around her feel more like they're holding her in place, showing her who's stronger rather than showing any actual affection. And he's got his fingers wrapped around her small biceps and he's squeezing and he knows he's hurting her but she just makes this high gasping noise in her throat before *rubbing* herself against him.

He's hard now, hard and aching and it doesn't really matter that he and Audrey don't even like each other like that. She pulls away from him and for a moment he won't let go. He won't hand over this tiny modicum of power he has over her. But he does and her eyes flash at him before she pulls him towards his bed.

Before he knows it he's on his back, skinning out of his boxers and she's unhooking and unzipping her strange, asymmetrical skirt and then it hits him. He's about to lose his virginity here. He always thought he'd do this for the first time with a friend.

He thought he'd do it with Lily or Robbie or some girl he was dating. Someone he'd have one word conversations with and they'd hang out at Mickey's afterwards, whispering and holding hands, and it's almost enough to make him stop. Then Audrey's straddling him, still wearing those boots and yeah, okay, losing his virginity.

He's inside and she's moving over him, squeezing and thrusting. She's riding him, fast and hard and he's feeling kind of used until he decides to help out. The next time she thrusts down onto him he thrusts up and if the noise Audrey makes is any indication, she likes that. She likes it even more when he lifts his hips on the next thrust, and that's pretty much it.

He's thrusting hard, one hand reaching up to fondle her breasts, and she's moving over him, her fingernails digging into his sides. His legs are moving and they're *fucking* and he has to remember to be careful. She's still got those boots on and they're sharp and they're going to cut the hell out of him if he isn't careful.

Audrey's not even thinking about it. He can feel her rolling forward on every thrust, rubbing her clit against him and the closer she gets to orgasm the more she clenches inside. It's not far off for him, one, two, three more and he's coming; closing his eyes and letting go. When he opens them again Audrey's still rubbing against him and he can feel the exact moment she comes, even though she does it silently.

She rolls off him and they just lay there. The sun went down a while ago and the glow-in-the-dark constellation stickers on his ceiling are looking down at them. He remembers the weekend Robbie spent in here with a constellation chart, painstakingly reproducing the fall view of the southern sky.

He'd told him he was just going to stick them wherever and Robbie had looked stricken. It seemed the better part of valor to just let him go for it. He has no clue which star is which now though. It's possible he wasn't very certain at the time either.

"So," he asks conversationally, "which one is Orion?" She turns to look at him like he's high and he points at the ceiling. She looks up and blinks rapidly before getting out of bed.

"I don't know," she says while putting her underwear and clothing back on.

"But you're really into all that star stuff... right?" he asks, sitting up and leaning back against the wall. A cigarette would complete the look. He'd look like a real bad ass right out of the movies if he had a cigarette. His mom would be pissed though.

"Not anymore," she quietly replies and walks out.

It's just as well, his mom should be home soon and he should at least have some of his homework started.

*A little more Scheming*

"River, just the mathematical genius I was looking for," an admiring female voice behind him says. Turning around he sees a girl with nice legs, an appropriate amount of cleavage and... damn, one of the most inviting mouths he's seen in a while.

"Audrey, right?" he asks, vaguely remembering her as one of the queens of the underclass. At her nod he smiles widely at her. "What can I help you with?"

"Well," she begins, taking a seat across from him, legs crossed at the ankle, arms crossed across her chest and mouth pouting slightly, "I have to admit to being somewhat useless when it comes to Algebra; quadratic equations will be the death of me. I heard a rumor that you were more than willing to act as a... tutor and was hoping maybe you could help me out."

Her hand has come forward during this exchange, lightly toying with his. She's being obvious, deliberately obvious. She knows exactly what she's offering and how can her he resist? Even The River Pierce is but a mere mortal man.

"Tutoring hmm?" he replies, touching her hand in turn. "Did you have any idea when you wanted to get started?"

Audrey just smiles and licks her lips. "No time like the present," she says, jumping down from her seat and moving in towards him. She doesn't try to kiss him or do anything else he'd have to put an end to; she really does seem to know the score.

"You're not busy right now are you?" she asks, head tilted to the side and one leg moving just enough against him to get him some nice friction going.

"Busy?" he chokes out; she's *good* at that and... Rose. Wait, maybe it's Violet? No, Lily. Lily, some cute blonde underclassmen, is at the counter buying him a coffee. But Audrey looks so ready, and she's definitely a sure thing and... "No, I'm not busy at all."

There's something in her eyes when he says that, a flash of triumph but it's gone before he can ask about it and she's bending over to get her purse. As they're leaving Mickey's, he makes a point to find Lily.

"Lily?" he taps her on the shoulder and when she turns around he gives her his most contrite look. "Lily, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about a tutoring session I had set up tonight. Ordinarily I wouldn't cut out on you, but this kid really needs my help and I did promise. Sorry to cut out on you."

Her eyes get that soft look that almost every girl in the school uses on him when he's talking about his community service. He's free and clear and he knows it, until she looks over and sees Audrey waiting for him by the door.

"Tutoring, huh?" she asks him, turning back to face him, soft look completely gone.

"It's tragic the way some kids will let their grades slide. But I feel the need to help them." He's shoveling it and she isn't buying it, at all. He heads off towards Audrey, and she's positively beaming at him.

"You ready?" she asks, opening the door and as they walk out she spares one last glance over her shoulder and her smile only gets wider. When he looks, all he sees is Lily sitting alone at a table with a notebook and a coffee.

*No Man's Land*

It feels strange, a lot stranger than she's ever imagined, and she's spent hours and hours thinking about it. Dreaming of what it would be like and lately, imagining a specific person doing this for her. Bright blonde hair falling across her stomach, over her thighs and nimble musicians fingers making her moan.

The fingers inside her right now might not belong to a musician, but they're no less talented and really no one's perf...

"Ahhh" she moans and the mouth that's currently working her clit like there's nothing better in the world curves up into a smile.

She has one arm over her eyes, as if by not looking at the girl between her thighs, she can somehow make her someone else. She can't though, and the hair clutched tightly in her other hand remains brown and the eyes that flash up at her, eyes full of sex and hunger, are still hazel instead of deep brown.

A quick angle change from the fingers inside her, the tongue working her going flat against her clit and she's bucking up and coming so *hard*.

"Oooh , oooh, Li-," she cuts herself off by burying her head into her pillow, moaning and writhing. The mouth on her doesn't stop and it's getting to be almost uncomfortable, she's so over sensitized. She's trying to move away and finally the mouth stops.

She can feel the other girl's mouth moving up her body, kissing at her thighs and stomach, kissing across her breasts and throat, until she feels pressure against her lips and she opens for the other girl's mouth. She can taste herself; it's the most immediate flavor she can detect. Underneath is a hint of strawberry flavored lip gloss and something else, something sweet but not fruity... pudding cups.

"You taste like pudding cups. Did you eat the last one in the fridge?" she asks her.

"And hopefully where you come from, that's how the locals say `thanks Audrey, that was an amazing orgasm, can I return the favor?' and yes, I ate one of your damn pudding cups. Your mother offered while I was waiting for you," Audrey replies.

"Sorry about that, I had-"

"Band practice, yes, I know," Audrey shifts around then, so they're lying next to each other with Audrey on her side. She can see the golden tone of Audrey's legs in her peripheral vision and can't help but think that they aren't pale enough.

"Have you memorized my schedule Aud?" she asks smiling over at the girl lying next to her.

"Not necessary Parker, I can always tell when you've been at practice. You're more eager for it, practically dying of sexual frustration. And you only cover your eyes when you've been with your band," Audrey explains without a hint of bitterness and Parker finds herself wanting to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible.

"What were you saying about me returning the favor?" she asks, lifting herself up so she can crawl over Audrey. She makes it to straddling her lap before Audrey tilts her face up so their eyes meet.

"Just letting you know, Parker, it's never going to happen. Take it from some one who knows, she isn't ever going to show the slightest bit of interest. It just isn't in her," Audrey explains.

"Don't interrupt me when I'm working Aud," Parker replies, attempting nonchalance, eyes slanting left.

"An orgasm is an orgasm honey; it's no big deal for me. Just trying to help you out," Audrey answers dismissively. "And by the way, you can say her name; I know who you're really thinking of when we do this."

Audrey leans back on her elbows and looks up at her, eyes glinting a challenge and her mouth twisted in what could be considered a smile, if a person were extremely generous... and blind.

"Lily," Parker breathes out, against Audrey's mouth before kissing her, "Oh Lily, I'm going to make you feel so good."

*An Encore After All*

She can see him, his dark hair moving away from her. Grace is at his side and she thinks she can almost see his arm around her waist. He's holding her close, making sure she isn't swept away by the crowd.

"Ray!" Lily calls out, just as Grace stumbles and Ray has to keep her from falling. He lifts her up a bit and holds her closer to him. Lily can see him stroking her hair and whispering to her. A kid had fallen at last year's show and he'd been in the hospital for weeks. The crowd this year actually looks worse.

There's something... tender in the way he's touching her; like she's something fragile and beautiful that needs protecting. It's how he held her the one time they ever kissed. She remembers how that feels, like being wrapped in love. Like love was a tangible thing you could use like a blanket to curl up with when it was cold out.

It's not for her anymore; none of it is.

She stops trying to get to him and just stands there. She still has her guitar though and if she doesn't want to explain to her parents how she got it broken, she needs to move. She heads backstage, flashing her wristband to the guard standing there to keep the public out.

Parker's already there, packing away her guitar and wiping away her stage make-up. She can always count on Parker to make her feel better. Be it irreverent quipping or sound advice, Parker is a constant.

"He just walked away Parker, he heard my song and it didn't bother him. He took her hand and walked away like my saying goodbye meant absolutely nothing. I can't believe it!" she says, throwing herself onto the couch nearby. She can hear the place clearing out, a stampede of noise headed away from them and towards the exits.

"What did you expect?" Parker finally asks, looking up at her. Hurt is spread all over her face and Lily can't for the life of her imagine why. "I mean, he has a *girlfriend*, Lily. A girl that he's dating that isn't you. You decided not to go out with him. You decided he was too immature. God, with all the mixed signals you give off Lily it's amazing you haven't had more misunderstandings like this." Parker looks back down to close her case before picking it up as she stands.

"There are all kinds of ways to miss out on happiness, Lily. One of them is to never really be aware of its possibility in the first place." She leaves then, just leaves, no consolation, and no solace and yeah, it hurts. It really hurts.

"Lily?" a voice calls from the other side of the curtain. It's... Audrey. Of all the people Lily might have expected to see tonight, Audrey definitely didn't make the top ten list. Or the top 100.

"Hey Audrey," Lily calls, trying to force out some cheerfulness. It feels empty though, and one look at Audrey confirms that it's not just her that can tell. "I'm, umm, I'm kind of in the middle of this," she stumbles out, gesturing to her guitar and the case, "can I catch you later?" She doesn't look up at Audrey.

They haven't talked in months and it's some unwritten girl rule that you don't let former friends see you cry. She's going to cry, it can't be helped. Ray abandoning her and Parker's wounded whatever; she can't deal with all of this right now. She definitely can't deal with all of this and Audrey.

"Hey, Lily, c'mon," Audrey says softly. "Even if we haven't been friends for a while, it's still me. I know you. Something's bugging you and you look like you need a friend right now. I never stopped being that for you Lily. You said you couldn't be my friend, I never said it back."

Audrey's sitting down right next to her now. The case and the guitar are on the ground, forgotten and unimportant. Audrey's hand, lifting Lily's and holding it to her chest, that's important. The look in Audrey's eyes when she says, "tell me what's wrong," that's important. The way all the words come spilling out of her mouth, as easily as the tears fall from her eyes, despite all these months of nothing, all of that is vital.

Audrey's mouth, against her own, licking against her eyelids before pressing salty kisses to Lily's mouth and throat; all these things seem so much more important.

And the way Audrey's breath catches when Lily kisses back, the way her voice hitches when she whispers "Lily, I love you," against her bare shoulder. They all feel like the most important things in the world.

 

 

 


End file.
